They say there's nothing worse than losing a friend.That is true,but what is worse is when they were pretending to be your friend and never really even liked you all along.People make mistakes.I'll admit that I have made many over my life,especially during Sophomore year,and I am no where near proud of them.But they have made me stronger and brought me to the place I am today,a better me.I can't go back in time and change the past to fix my mistakes and I am sorry for the people they hurt.Today I was told that my friends wanted to talk to me on Monday..I couldn't imagine how bad it must be if they wanted to tell me in person...I asked her if it was bad..she said no.It was.She told me that the other person I hung out with at lunch and have known for 4 years..doesn't want me to hang out with them anymore.That she wanted it to just be her and the other friend.So aside from ditching me as her graduation walking partner,I was now friendless.I had plans to all get ready for dances together and go shopping and such...I guess not.I so wanted a place to belong at school now that all my friends graduated.I am clan less.I kinda could sense some news like this was coming when they said I could go with them to Coffee on Main today and they ditched me and went to Starbucks.It just hurts.Everyone judges me on what they have heard about me in the past,...they don't even give me the time to show them how much I have changed in the past 2 years.Anyone want to be my new lunch time buddy?I already felt all alone with most of my friends at college..now its just crazy.
Here is a recap of the week:
Tuesday-2,4,6 for the first time..In gov Eddy didn't smile and I hardly know anyone,LOVE screen printing and got to draw,and English..love the teacher and don't know anyone but one of the friends I just lost,and we got to do a free write.Lamb told us her most outrageous moment in her life was a naked old dude in Starbucks who screams and runs around naked and then pretends to surf on top of minivans when the cops are looking for him.
Wednesday:I got put into the office aid and ran passes and counted about 1400 cards into stacks of 30...got my planner..and had my first int 3 class..where I wasn't friends with anyone.
Thursday:246-Had to give a speech in Eddys class with a group...was so nervous I had to cross my arms to prevent people from noticing I was shaking so bad and I was having a panick attack and on the verge of tears...I avoided eye contact needless to say.Screen printing we finished our bird drawings and started drawing an upside down man,English we read our Bio poems..and went to the computer lab to start our scholarship autobiographies ..rough draft due Monday..Piff is my only friend other then Lo in there.But like I said..she doesn't want to be my friend anymore.
Friday:Vanessa gave me her sims 3 and expansion pack for free on the bus..we didnt do the evacuation drill so we will probably do it monday..hung out with Weslyn and Robert in the morning,did book work in culinary,got switched to counselor aid and seriously went to every single freaking classroom and hall and then came back and forth and back and forth again...I was exhausted.Especially with the heat!Then I tried to finish math hw that I didn't understand and then I scanned a book for a teacher.Lunch I got ditched.I sat in a hallway with Sam A...but pretty much alone.shocker.No one hangs out with me if they have the option of not doing so.I went to Math and remembered we have a sub! she let us watch "proofs" aka an extremely pointless movie..draw and talk..I talked to my side neighbors and I started doodling and we just kept adding on to it by passing it to each other.Then I talked to Jamie,Esai,and the people behind me and saw Esais cool dino rubber band bracelet! and then Jamie decided to draw Esai a dinosaur :).No homework was assigned and we didn't have to turn in last nights hw! turns out I wasn't the only one who didn't understand it.
And now I am home.obviously.After the first week of Senior year I can honestly say I am not liking how its turning out so far.Hopefully by trying to keep a positive attitude..I will turn that around.But for now...I remain zapped by lighting.
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