AGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! that is how I feel right now.There are no words to describe how awful today was for me and how I now feel like pulling my hair out in frustration,screaming at the top of my lungs,and crying all at the same time.(ps:this might be a downer post but I will throw in some happy :)
So the day started out with me getting a ride to school which I loved because I could sleep in until 6:20 and not have to worry about catching the bus at 6:50ish.I was rocking some new converse(loved them) and a new shirt..there was nothing on the radio that was good.I got to school looking for a familiar face near the front desk and saw Rosie and Kristina..and then Sarah(ahh Ive missed her tons!)then Vanessa walked with me to Culinary since I was sure I would feel awkward not knowing anyone in there..little did I know what was coming.
I got to culinary and the room was pretty full already..I sat at a table with 4 chairs and one empty seat..mine..with the only people I knew in there..Kathleen and CC.I said how I should have my license and she made a big deal out of being 12 or so days older..and laughed that I thought it was only 1.Then YAY Jakyoooo came in and although she sat at a diff table..I didnt feel alone anymore.It was a weird morning..then again I guess it always is when you are getting back into routine.Ms Stack introduced her self then we all stood around the room and played “a food to name game”..I was Ally Apples…Zack Zuchinni aka Zack Pelcher was in that class! ahah at first I didnt know who he was and just thought he looked familiar,but I went trick or treating with his family a few years ago! didnt think he remembers me though.I thought it was funny how CC stopped the game and asked if “Kyle Ketchup” was related to Tim Owens..OMG he looked like he could be his brother!Then we sat down and went over the course syllabus..then we made homemade vanilla ice cream..but I gave mine to Jackyo…we planned our Twilight saga marathon!
Then I walked out the 200 doors with Jacky and saw Johnalynn and Weslyn and attacked them with hugs!we spent the break talking about our classes.Then I went to Math…Tyndall..The continuing of a bad day..first off the teacher is great and funny so I loved that part of it..I sat down and saw Bianca and Dave who were in my math last year and Lizette sat next to me..Richelle and Virginia,Amanda sat in front of me with Savi..Amanda Graham and Ciara Patton..sat with Jessica Dollar.The girl that started all the drama about me last year had returned into my math class again.FML.and I wasnt the only one who felt that way.My friend in there told me if it makes me feel any better someone she knew Tp’d her house..It made me laugh but at the same time..it was really sad and could only imagine how awful it must be to know someone would do that to her..Anyway..we did math puzzles and talked about our summer and did a sugar cube activity.I could hear Jessica’s Snickers(ahah thats a great nickname)the whole time working on the cube activity.FROM ACROSS THE FREAKING ROOM.I didnt even say or glance at her.WOW she loves starting Drama.It was only the first day..we got a homework assignment to detail our life “through math”..due next class..sounded dreadful..little did I know..It was a good assignment.
It was finally lunch time.I went to my old spot in the 200 hall and met up with Lo and Farrah.We walked..met Cole by the office and Lo and I went inside to change it so I had a 5th period,but they were to busy so I had to come back during 5th period.We then walked to the 400 hall..Cole still chilling although he had no 5th either..to help with JROTC(or as he joked Junior Retards On The Campus) lol.Lo couldnt stop laughing about that one.First Farrah and her reserved their seats in Mr.Coles class and Cole and I got to say hi!While Farrah talked to Ship..Cole,Lo and I ran into Jamie and other girl(the ones that ride my bus) and chatted until Farrah was done.Lo and I had only 5 minutes left and the halls were starting to fill(and Cole would just not hurry up and snap a picture!he kept getting us when we werent ready..ahh we were on a time crunch!but we got one :) As lunch ended I went to the counselors office and saw Halie(who was in my history class last year),Whitney,Jorge,and then Thomas came up and gave me a handshake/high five type dealio..showed me his “this is what happens when you fall out of a tree drunk” scar/cut/bruise thing on his stomach and said “touch it” I was like ” Id rather not” and then he made me and it was gross and hard..ewwww shudders.Caughlin finally came into his office..just as Jillian Santo was in the area..shes nice,but we didnt talk.Mr.Cauglin knew I wanted the TA positon for 5th and was like “how about Office Assistant” ..I said “uhhh yeaa I guesss” trying to imply I would rather have an actual TEACHING type of assistance! to learn something.I got stuck with it anyway,most of the teachers were taken.I had that 3rd period now.Just have to run passes and such..pretty much a free period.I also had to switch my math.Tyndall said all 4 year college bound kids need Int 3.So now I am in Int 3 for 5th period with Fitzhugh.
As I walked down the dreaded halls of the 400 building a knowingness returned..and so did a feeling of dread.Room 403..I was back.(I had her sophomore year and completely failed her class because of how hard she was).At first I walked past her room thinking it was one ahead..but finally I found it and I knocked quietly.A few seconds went by and it still remained unopened..I wondered if I should knock again.I decided to wait a little while longer.It opened and a whole sea of faces looked up at me as I grabbed an Int 3 book,forms,and returned to one of the only 2 empty desks.If it helps,the kids next to me seem nice.But ohh words can also Not describe how stupid I feel in that class..I had no idea what was going on through the warm up exercises and don’t know how I am going to do the homework.F(Fitzhugh but that is too long to keep typing..just FYI when I type this it is not swearing) told us to introduce ourselves to our neighbors.The girls in front of me turned around..It was Ali and Krystal from dance..They were so mean to me at dance and made me feel terrible..somehow when I first entered my eyes didnt scan their faces.Hopefully they aren’t mean to me in class..they sure as heck seem a lot nicer to be around then Jessica.The whole class I was on the verge of an endless downpour of tears.Everyone seemed so smart and understood everything.How on earth am I going to get the needed A in here?And just like that my senior year turned hard.I was stuck in something I couldnt escape..not if I wanted a 4 year college..UNLV.My senior year was just about set in stone now.That scared me a lot.
Finally at 2:06 the day ended..I walked out to the buses with Jamie..although she wasn’t riding and Chloe sat in front of me and I think her name is Nicole(ahh I feel awful for not knowing since she sits next to me all the time) talked about school and dance all the way to our stops.Ahha I feel bad that I vented to her for so long.I got off the bus..opened my front door..and I was home.
When I woke up I thought about how it was going to feel.It being my last first day of high school.I imagined the friends,laughs,hugs,teachers,assignments,..but never did I imagine the tears.I find courage in knowing..tomorrow will be a better day.(Today was hard,without Molly being around to comfort me and my nerves,but I am thinking that she would ..no I am KNOWING that she would want me to keep my chin up,smile at the sun,and dance through the tears. :)(Sorry for such a long post,I needed to vent)
No comments:
Post a Comment