When Lighting Strikes

They say there's nothing worse than losing a friend.That is true,but what is worse is when they were pretending to be your friend and never really even liked you all along.People make mistakes.I'll admit that I have made many over my life,especially during Sophomore year,and I am no where near proud of them.But they have made me stronger and brought me to the place I am today,a better me.I can't go back in time and change the past to fix my mistakes and I am sorry for the people they hurt.Today I was told that my friends wanted to talk to me on Monday..I couldn't imagine how bad it must be if they wanted to tell me in person...I asked her if it was bad..she said no.It was.She told me that the other person I hung out with at lunch and have known for 4 years..doesn't want me to hang out with them anymore.That she wanted it to just be her and the other friend.So aside from ditching me as her graduation walking partner,I was now friendless.I had plans to all get ready for dances together and go shopping and such...I guess not.I so wanted a place to belong at school now that all my friends graduated.I am clan less.I kinda could sense some news like this was coming when they said I could go with them to Coffee on Main today and they ditched me and went to Starbucks.It just hurts.Everyone judges me on what they have heard about me in the past,...they don't even give me the time to show them how much I have changed in the past 2 years.Anyone want to be my new lunch time buddy?I already felt all alone with most of my friends at college..now its just crazy.

Here is a recap of the week:
Tuesday-2,4,6 for the first time..In gov Eddy didn't smile and I hardly know anyone,LOVE screen printing and got to draw,and English..love the teacher and don't know anyone but one of the friends I just lost,and we got to do a free write.Lamb told us her most outrageous moment in her life was a naked old dude in Starbucks who screams and runs around naked and then pretends to surf on top of minivans when the cops are looking for him.

Wednesday:I got put into the office aid and ran passes and counted about 1400 cards into stacks of 30...got my planner..and had my first int 3 class..where I wasn't friends with anyone.

Thursday:246-Had to give a speech in Eddys class with a group...was so nervous I had to cross my arms to prevent people from noticing I was shaking so bad and I was having a panick attack and on the verge of tears...I avoided eye contact needless to say.Screen printing we finished our bird drawings and started drawing an upside down man,English we read our Bio poems..and went to the computer lab to start our scholarship autobiographies ..rough draft due Monday..Piff is my only friend other then Lo in there.But like I said..she doesn't want to be my friend anymore.

Friday:Vanessa gave me her sims 3 and expansion pack for free on the bus..we didnt do the evacuation drill so we will probably do it monday..hung out with Weslyn and Robert in the morning,did book work in culinary,got switched to counselor aid and seriously went to every single freaking classroom and hall and then came back and forth and back and forth again...I was exhausted.Especially with the heat!Then I tried to finish math hw that I didn't understand and then I scanned a book for a teacher.Lunch I got ditched.I sat in a hallway with Sam A...but pretty much alone.shocker.No one hangs out with me if they have the option of not doing so.I went to Math and remembered we have a sub! she let us watch "proofs" aka an extremely pointless movie..draw and talk..I talked to my side neighbors and I started doodling and we just kept adding on to it by passing it to each other.Then I talked to Jamie,Esai,and the people behind me and saw Esais cool dino rubber band bracelet! and then Jamie decided to draw Esai a dinosaur :).No homework was assigned and we didn't have to turn in last nights hw! turns out I wasn't the only one who didn't understand it.

And now I am home.obviously.After the first week of Senior year I can honestly say I am not liking how its turning out so far.Hopefully by trying to keep a positive attitude..I will turn that around.But for now...I remain zapped by lighting.

I Will Try Again Tomorrow

AGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! that is how I feel right now.There are no words to describe how awful today was for me and how I now feel like pulling my hair out in frustration,screaming at the top of my lungs,and crying all at the same time.(ps:this might be a downer post but I will throw in some happy :)

So the day started out with me getting a ride to school which I loved because I could sleep in until 6:20 and not have to worry about catching the bus at 6:50ish.I was rocking some new converse(loved them) and a new shirt..there was nothing on the radio that was good.I got to school looking for a familiar face near the front desk and saw Rosie and Kristina..and then Sarah(ahh Ive missed her tons!)then Vanessa walked with me to Culinary since I was sure I would feel awkward not knowing anyone in there..little did I know what was coming.

I got to culinary and the room was pretty full already..I sat at a table with 4 chairs and one empty seat..mine..with the only people I knew in there..Kathleen and CC.I said how I should have my license and she made a big deal out of being 12 or so days older..and laughed that I thought it was only 1.Then YAY Jakyoooo came in and although she sat at a diff table..I didnt feel alone anymore.It was a weird morning..then again I guess it always is when you are getting back into routine.Ms Stack introduced her self then we all stood around the room and played “a food to name game”..I was Ally Apples…Zack Zuchinni aka Zack Pelcher was in that class! ahah at first I didnt know who he was and just thought he looked familiar,but I went trick or treating with his family a few years ago! didnt think he remembers me though.I thought it was funny how CC stopped the game and asked if “Kyle Ketchup” was related to Tim Owens..OMG he looked like he could be his brother!Then we sat down and went over the course syllabus..then we made homemade vanilla ice cream..but I gave mine to Jackyo…we planned our Twilight saga marathon!

Then I walked out the 200 doors with Jacky and saw Johnalynn and Weslyn and attacked them with hugs!we spent the break talking about our classes.Then I went to Math…Tyndall..The continuing of a bad day..first off the teacher is great and funny so I loved that part of it..I sat down and saw Bianca and Dave who were in my math last year and Lizette sat next to me..Richelle and Virginia,Amanda sat in front of me with Savi..Amanda Graham and Ciara Patton..sat with Jessica Dollar.The girl that started all the drama about me last year had returned into my math class again.FML.and I wasnt the only one who felt that way.My friend in there told me if it makes me feel any better someone she knew Tp’d her house..It made me laugh but at the same time..it was really sad and could only imagine how awful it must be to know someone would do that to her..Anyway..we did math puzzles and talked about our summer and did a sugar cube activity.I could hear Jessica’s Snickers(ahah thats a great nickname)the whole time working on the cube activity.FROM ACROSS THE FREAKING ROOM.I didnt even say or glance at her.WOW she loves starting Drama.It was only the first day..we got a homework assignment to detail our life “through math”..due next class..sounded dreadful..little did I know..It was a good assignment.

It was finally lunch time.I went to my old spot in the 200 hall and met up with Lo and Farrah.We walked..met Cole by the office and Lo and I went inside to change it so I had a 5th period,but they were to busy so I had to come back during 5th period.We then walked to the 400 hall..Cole still chilling although he had no 5th either..to help with JROTC(or as he joked Junior Retards On The Campus) lol.Lo couldnt stop laughing about that one.First Farrah and her reserved their seats in Mr.Coles class and Cole and I got to say hi!While Farrah talked to Ship..Cole,Lo and I ran into Jamie and other girl(the ones that ride my bus) and chatted until Farrah was done.Lo and I had only 5 minutes left and the halls were starting to fill(and Cole would just not hurry up and snap a picture!he kept getting us when we werent ready..ahh we were on a time crunch!but we got one :) As lunch ended I went to the counselors office and saw Halie(who was in my history class last year),Whitney,Jorge,and then Thomas came up and gave me a handshake/high five type dealio..showed me his “this is what happens when you fall out of a tree drunk” scar/cut/bruise thing on his stomach and said “touch it” I was like ” Id rather not” and then he made me and it was gross and hard..ewwww shudders.Caughlin finally came into his office..just as Jillian Santo was in the area..shes nice,but we didnt talk.Mr.Cauglin knew I wanted the TA positon for 5th and was like “how about Office Assistant” ..I said “uhhh yeaa I guesss” trying to imply I would rather have an actual TEACHING type of assistance! to learn something.I got stuck with it anyway,most of the teachers were taken.I had that 3rd period now.Just have to run passes and such..pretty much a free period.I also had to switch my math.Tyndall said all 4 year college bound kids need Int 3.So now I am in Int 3 for 5th period with Fitzhugh.

As I walked down the dreaded halls of the 400 building a knowingness returned..and so did a feeling of dread.Room 403..I was back.(I had her sophomore year and completely failed her class because of how hard she was).At first I walked past her room thinking it was one ahead..but finally I found it and I knocked quietly.A few seconds went by and it still remained unopened..I wondered if I should knock again.I decided to wait a little while longer.It opened and a whole sea of faces looked up at me as I grabbed an Int 3 book,forms,and returned to one of the only 2 empty desks.If it helps,the kids next to me seem nice.But ohh words can also Not describe how stupid I feel in that class..I had no idea what was going on through the warm up exercises and don’t know how I am going to do the homework.F(Fitzhugh but that is too long to keep typing..just FYI when I type this it is not swearing) told us to introduce ourselves to our neighbors.The girls in front of me turned around..It was Ali and Krystal from dance..They were so mean to me at dance and made me feel terrible..somehow when I first entered my eyes didnt scan their faces.Hopefully they aren’t mean to me in class..they sure as heck seem a lot nicer to be around then Jessica.The whole class I was on the verge of an endless downpour of tears.Everyone seemed so smart and understood everything.How on earth am I going to get the needed A in here?And just like that my senior year turned hard.I was stuck in something I couldnt escape..not if I wanted a 4 year college..UNLV.My senior year was just about set in stone now.That scared me a lot.

Finally at 2:06 the day ended..I walked out to the buses with Jamie..although she wasn’t riding and Chloe sat in front of me and I think her name is Nicole(ahh I feel awful for not knowing since she sits next to me all the time) talked about school and dance all the way to our stops.Ahha I feel bad that I vented to her for so long.I got off the bus..opened my front door..and I was home.

When I woke up I thought about how it was going to feel.It being my last first day of high school.I imagined the friends,laughs,hugs,teachers,assignments,..but never did I imagine the tears.I find courage in knowing..tomorrow will be a better day.(Today was hard,without Molly being around to comfort me and my nerves,but I am thinking that she would ..no I am KNOWING that she would want me to keep my chin up,smile at the sun,and dance through the tears. :)(Sorry for such a long post,I needed to vent)

Senior Proofs Are Back

My mom brought home my senior proofs today..I am way happy!(the one above is for yearbook)I think they turned out really well.I am one of the only people it seems like,so far,that got theirs back already.Today I watched Center Stage..amazing dancing! but I had already seen it before so I knew it would be.Its 2 days until school starts..the nerves are catching up to me.I will start my senior year with no 5th period..but hopefully the first day that will change.The guidance counselor says I most likely will get to be a TA,which I am totally stoked about.

Friends In Strange Places

So I would just love to say that my best friend Molly is truly an amazing angel.Even though she is in heaven now,she continues to unite people and create friendships.I now have a new friend..Halie :).I joined a exercize site in hopes to lose my fat stomach.Lets hope it goes well.I am off to go play Wii fit..if I can get it to work.I feel so healthy laying off the junk food.:) oh and I met a new online friend Abby who is really nice!

Senior Pictures

Today I had my senior pics(the drape and cap and gown one) taken at Kid Pix.They look amazing and I had such a great time..my face hurts from smiling so much! lol the Lady's daughter said my cap and gown one had "attitude"! I can't wait to get the proofs back in a few days!...wow now time to think about how many to order!

1.Mom
2.Sister
3.Sandy Lopez
4.Megan Fields
5.Mego Lamboy
6.Halie Stanton
*.Katherine Crowe
7.Sarah Joy
*.Ms.Tully
8.Weslyn Halmilton
9.Jackyo Leehy
*.Rose Lombino
10.Lil P
11.Amy Keihne
12.Katy Cullen
*.Maddie Vindiola
*.Sarah Bates
*.Britti Toothman
13.Bruno Barros
14.Cassie Fastabend
15.Kim Bay
*.Grammy
16.Feather Medicine Crow
*.Jenn Tart
*.Jessica Drake
17.Johnnalyn Covey
18.Katie Mcguire
19.Katie Sawicki
20.Shaelbs Bell
21.Miguelio McDougall
22.Emily Ann Stewart
*.Mrs.Stack
*.Ms.Lamb
23.Cole Sonneman
24.Jaime Steenburgh
25.Alyssa Bass
26.Tiffany Piff Ellis
27.Lauren Eissinger
28.Corrina Bell
29.Samantha Stalcup
30.Nicole(culinary)
31.Abby(culinary)
32.girl with black hair in culinary..lol i forgot her name!
33.Bo Kay
34.Jessica Hancock

So It comes down to around 34 extras....right away :)who knew that there were so many important people to give them too!(blue means they will still get one..but It might take a little longer due to them being far away..purple means teachers..red is family)

Well That Sucks

Wow.Just Wow.

So I had my graduation walking partner picked out..aka one of my best friends.
We planned to be walking partners at the beginning of last year…and all of the sudden without a heads up I see posts from her and her new walking partner letting everyone know they are walking together…DAMN IT! now I have no one to walk with..this sucks and I feel betrayed :(.Every other one of my friends already has one!

On a plus note I am getting my haircut like one of these two tmrw by the fabulous Amanda:

If I Were A Boy:Adam Torres Story

This is Adam Torres..a FTM Transgender character on Degrassi this season.He was born as Gracie Torres..but he has known since he was 5 that he was meant to be a guy.He gets bullied and harassed at school.And when His grandma comes to town,his mom forces him to turn back into Gracie and not reveal who he really is.His mom sees him as a girl and won't let that go.Gracie comes out after harassment has occurred and realizes again how unhappy being Gracie makes him.He burns himself and Clare catches him in the act.It was a really touching scene.The actress played it so well(as you can tell from the emotion on her face in the picture).She only harms herself when she is Gracie.Her arm speaks of hurt.I have never met a Transgendered person..but If this is the hurt they go through..I truly am sorry.:'(

What Happens In Vegas

So I just got back from Vegas and it was SOOO MUCH DRIVING in the middle of nowhere…no towns..for hours at a time.In total I saw,5 Ross stores,2 Vegas wedding chapels,and a homeless man(whom which I felt bad for because at 100 degrees on the strip..I would not want to stay outside for long)Speaking of temperatures..it stayed in the 100s and highest I saw it at was 111.This blog will be very long since I was unable to update everyday.

The Drive :
A lot of nothingness for miles and miles.One could easily get stranded there.We stopped at Mcdonalds in Tonapah and it was DISGUSTING..flies were everywhere.Then I got sick from there salad.Then we stopped a long time later at a candy store in Beatty where I got a bag of Jolly Ranchers! YUMM! The rest of the ride was pretty uneventful..A lot of music..a really cool bumpy road that was like a rollercaoster.I took a nap..but most of the ride was me wanting to hurry up and et to VEGAS!! to start the partyyyy!

Wednesday:Day 1
The night we got there at around 6 or 7.We vallet parked our car at the Trump hotel and went in to get our rooms.That is when we met Adriana.My mom told her about how I was looking into going to UNLV for college and she said she would give us a tour tmrw of the campus.She also told me to join the sorority ZTA(Zeta Tau Alpha) and said I was already wearing the colors (teal and silver)...Later I would find out my step mom was in the same sorority ..AHHH! lol.She said the sority was the only one that didn't believe in hazing.Their charity is breast cancer awareness.So after talking with her for a few Mom and I went upstairs and our room was SOOO COOL! It had a tv on the mirror of the bathroom! and a huge shower and tub! and a flat screen tv,couch,great view of the whynn and treasure island hotels and mall across the street...and a mini fridge,stove,and microwave! not to mention the pillows were so soft!Then we went to the MGM grand hotel to look around.Paradiso looked like a great store for future reference..We looked at the pool and I took my picture with a lion statue and then we left to go about 2 miles off the strip to Olive Garden(funny how we traveled for 7 hours to eat at an olive garden when there is one in Reno) But I loved it.We had a 20 minute wait and then I ordered this soup I can't pronounce and fettuccine Alfredo,which I was too full to barely even touch ..and a Mango Strawberry lemonade..unfortunately I was unable to eat the bread sticks or salad for a risk of getting sick :(.After we went back to the hotel and relaxed for tomorrow was going to be a busy day.

Thursday:Day 2
We woke up,after a terrible nights sleep.It turns out the hotel was right next to train tracks.There was a train at least every 2 hours throughout the night and each time it would blow its horn..not once..oh no..more like 7 times!! OBNOXIOUS! to say the least.Then we went to the Mirage where we got our awesome VIP Lion King on Broadway tickets.Such great seats!…We went into the store and I got a Lion King keychain and really pretty shirt! then We took pics of the sharks in an aquarium and then it was House Of Blues time.I tried to look for Lisa Scintas name,since she would be performing next weekend,but unfortunately,I couldn't find it.:(.Mom and I got matching House Of Blues sweatshirts that say "where the heart meets the soul" and a cool CD,magnet and tote bag.I of course took pictures of the House Of Blues Exterior.After this we walked a long and lengthy path to the shark aquarium to realize what we really wanted to see were the baby tigers and dolphins.(The pool and wave pool looked so ginormous and crowded,but oh so pretty at the same time)We saw baby white tigers (only 7 weeks old) and dolphins up really close!Then we went to UNLV and decided we were to tired from all the walking to get a full on tour from Adriana.We looked around at the cafeteria and they had a JAMBA JUICE AND PANDA EXPRESS! Then we headed on over to the bookstore where I got UNLV sweatpants,turquoise shirt,and a sweatshirt that matched the sweatpants.At 100+ degrees,I knew I wouldn't be wearing them for today!lol.Hunger hit us around this time..we headed over to New Orleans where we were greeted by alligator door handles and giant alligators playing various instruments just beyond the doors.We ate lunch(I had cheese quesadillas and cobb salad at some little cafe.Wow I realize on this trip I drank a lot of pink lemonade..or just lemonade in general.The portions at this place are HUGE .The salad could have easily been 5 or six meals for me!We were on a time crunch..after mom stopped to get coffee at Seattle's best coffee..we went back to the hotel to get ready for Lion King.When we got there it was so full that only hotel guests were allowed to park there..the guy made an exception.The show was immaculate..I loved the music and costumes and dancing! it was so powerful and magical! I knew it was an experience I would never forget.We decided to let the crowd diminish and walked over to the Luxor..which besides looking like a pyramid was a total snooze to be in.Then while going up to our room there were two Australian guys in the elevator(actually that was probably the day before).He told us he had a daugher named Ally..I loved the accents! At the Lion King I also heard Chinese,French,and Spanish.It was time to call it a night..at about 2:30 am!

Friday:Day 3
The day we drove home :(.We checked out of the hotel at 11 and drove down the strip a couple more times..and past UNLV so mom could get Starbucks fix!We couldn't understand what the drive through lady was saying!I saw a really cool pink truck and a purple one when we stopped for gas.Then we drove an hour and a half of dessert to Beatty..then Goldfield..then another hour and a half to Tonapah..aka the tackyiest "city" I have ever seen.We decided not to stop at McDonalds again and stopped at a mini mart/subway/burger king/combo store.Outside there were 4 buses and about 20 army soldiers..nothing compared to what was waiting for us inside..over 100! more soldiers! we got sodas and lemonade and then were at the end of this very long line of army people waiting to check out..we musta talked to the right guy because we got to cut in line!(They were on their way to Fallon for training).Then we drove for like 2 hours more through nothingness and got Ice cream swirl cones at Mono cones at Mono Lake(Lee Vining)...an hourish later we were at home sweet home.

I really it felt so weird leaving the city..and I could definitely get use to the heat..though it will take some time.Oh and a side note…REALLY HOT GUYS! like OMG I was in Heaven :) lol

Countdown To Vegas

AHHH Less than 8 hours from now my mom and I will start our road trip to Vegas! I CANT WAIT!!! ahh I better start packing!
PS:I have a lot to say about the season finale of pretty little liars and my other shows make it or break it and secret life.Will update this with my insight when I return :).

Pretty Little Liars:
This season finale was insane! the outfits and acting were all incredible! and it was so intense! I can't believe that Hanna found out about Ezra and Aria..and that Hanna got hit by a car!!! and then after she did the girls got a text from A saying "she knew too much".I really hope Hanna isn't dead..she is one of my fave characters..but I heard someone say someone dies at the end of every book.Oh and Toby getting arrested! I can't believe the girls told the cops!

Make It Or Break It:
Oh wow so I actually felt compassion from Kellie Parker towards Kaylie when she told her to be careful about her wait and that she wouldn't tell anybody.Sasha also noticed but Ellen Beals said it was nothing but her training hard.I can't believe Ellen kicked Marty out of being the National teams coach! and that she made Emily compete again after she rolled her ankle during a flip and didn't even check to see that she was okay.Emily finally found out about her scholarship and where all the money was coming from thanks to loud mouth Lauren Tanner.At the end when Kaylie looked in the mirror at herself..wow shudders went up my spine and it made me cry..She exercises so much that it has become her obsession.Next week it shows Austin filming her and noticing how shaky she was and how when she landed her vault she didn't smile and had to hold on almost as if to keep her balance.I hope he helps her get help in the next episode or says something.A part of me wants him to keep her secret so she can keep doing what she loves..but her health is more important at this time.

Secret Life:
Yay finally Amy and Ricky are together again! He went to visit Amy in New York and was very flirty and I loved it!Still don't know if Adrian is going to marry Ben ..but both of them are mad that Ricky went to go see Amy without telling them.

Planning The Trip

On Wednesday my mom and I will be embarking on an 8 hour drive to fabulous Las Vegas Nevada.
We are staying at the Trump hotel..which is on Fashion Show Drive so I already know that I will love it.While we are there we are going to see the Broadway show Lion King..tour the UNLV campus..m&m world..shopping..and tons of site seeing.I wont be able to blog until I get back,but don't worry...I will tell you everything!!!

Augusta Gone Videos

Augusta Gone

Today I decided to make my blog part movie review..since some days..well there just isn't much else to talk about.Augusta Gone reminds me a lot of the movie Thirteen(which is one of my favories).It's about a 15 year old girl who rebels and turns to drugs,drinking and while she is away on a trip(a camp she was sent to because of her acting out and extreme behaviors) she also cuts.The scene that touched me the most in this movie is when she cuts and Brigite,who is a girl in the sleeping bag next to her,watches and the fact that she doesn't tell is touching.If you have seen the movie,you know that it does not end well for Brigite,but it does for Augusta.I give this movie 5 stars and would deffinetly recommend it.

Quotes I Love

I was browsing the web and came across quotes that I loved and spoke to my heart.Then those quotes started to rapidly fill up my computer screen with post it notes.I decided instead of waiting for the right blog to use them,I would post them here and put a little star next to them when I used them in my blog.
“People who think dying is the worst thing don’t know a thing about life.” -Lily Owens

Lily Owens: If your favorite color is blue, why did you paint the house pink?
August Boatwright: [chuckles] That was May's doing. When we went to the paint shop, she latched on to a color called, "Caribbean Pink." She said it made her feel like dancing a Spanish Flamenco. I personally thought it was the tackiest color I had ever seen, but I figured if it could lift May's heart, it was good enough to live in.
Lily Owens: That was awfully nice of you.
August Boatwright: Well, I don't know. Some things in life, like the color of a house, don't really matter. But lifting someone's heart? Now, that matters.

She reminded me that the world was really one big bee yard, and the same rules work fine in both places: Dont be afraid, as no life-loving bee wants to sting you. Still, dont be an idiot; wear long sleeves and long pants. Dont swat. Dont even think about swatting. If you feel angry, whistle. Anger agitates, while whistling melts a bees temper. Act like you know what youre doing, even when you dont. Above all, send the bees love. Every little thing wants to be loved. <-- best quote ever! “Putting black cloths on the hives is for us. I do it to remind us that life gives way into death, and then death turns around and gives way into life.” -August

Zach Taylor: Miss August told me about you being here helping out. She didn't mention anything about you being white.
Lily Owens: Maybe she didn't notice.

Secret Life Of Bees

I would just have to say that this is my all time new favorite movie.It truly touched my heart and now am going to start reading the book.If you haven't seen it,I suggest that you do! It made me cry and I loved every minute of those 2 hours!The actresses Dakota Fanning,Queen Latifah,and Alicia Keys..and others..were AMAZING!!
Now I am watching Hannah Montana and Wizards Of Waverly Place :)
got 2 assignments(including my midterm which I got a 85% on) in my online aerobics class..yay only 3 more left until I am done!.My senior pics form came in the mail today reminding us to make an appointment.Wow so this senior year is really coming fast and becoming a reality!

Taking It To Far?

Degrassi has always been known for taking on important issues of society and turning them into a relate-able situation.Today as I look upon the last episode of Make It Or Break It and know where Kaylie's over exercising (which is because of her wanting to do a certain move in gymnastics that her competition can do because she is at least 10 pounds lighter)is leading her,it brings me back to a reality in my life.She runs 10 miles a day.Over the years,it seems to be that I make friends with people who have some sort of problem..from abuse,cutting,eating disorders,etc.In some way or another I have had these issues personally touch my lives.Some of my friends found help,others have not been so lucky and are still fighting..literally..for their lives..and I'll admit..that scares me.I always liked being that one girl everyone goes to when they have a problem and need help..its hard when they go to you and you don't have an answer or way to help them get through it.I weighed 130,I think...back before I got sick with Gastroperisis...then for about a year I dropped down to 100 or at my lowest..95..and it was near impossible to raise it.I wanted to gain weight..that is not something you hear everyday.Well someway or another I gained it back and unfortunately,now I wish I hadn't..at 116 I am looking to "healthyly" get it back down to 100ish..or at least lose my stomach.Anyway..The Degrassi episode of Emma touched home because sure,you see this covered in shows and on the news,but when on of your best friends is going through it and something that bad could happen to her..it is a whole different story.So when trying to lose that "extra weight",take a moment to ask yourself..are you taking it to far?Chantelle Paige's lyrics (Worth Something More):

Abused, alone you're feeling so unloved
Can't open up, you keep it all inside
You cut yourself to let your body cry
Why don't you just use those beautiful eyes

You are worth something more
You matter, someone's there to love you
like you should be loved
Don't need to hurt yourself
You are worth something more

Sitting in front of the mirror again
Wishing that you could look more like them
The perfect body comes with endless hurt
Regret fills life don't treat yourself like this

You are worth something more
You matter, someone's there to love you
like you should be loved
Don't need to hurt yourself

You are worth something more

Trying to fill the void you know's inside
Using yourself to keep him by your side
His empty words causing you so much pain
Can't you see you're better off without him?

You are worth something more
You matter, someone's there to love you
like you should be loved
Don't need to hurt yourself
You are worth something more

You are worth something more
You matter, someone's there to love you
like you should be loved
Don't need to hurt yourself
You are worth something more

Brown Hair

Okay so it was more like only 2 days and now I am really wishing I could dye it for real.It makes me look a lot more pale then I really am though..but that is okay with me..since its summer,I have at least a little more color now.I need a hair change lol.Tonights Pretty Little Liars,Degrassi,Hells Kitchen(so glad Holli and Jay are the final 2) and Make It or Break it(LOVE the direction the show has taken Kaylie) were SO AMAZING.And I had a great seseme ginger salad for dinner...yummm!!! good day :) even helped around the house some...without being asked! needless to say mom was happy.

Penpal Writting

So write now I am watching random shows since the secret life and huge and degrassi were over hours ago.I can not wait for next weeks secret life!Anyway...right now I am writing my extremely long letter to my penpal Kayla who lives in Kentucky and I have the house to myself until 5pm tmrw :).PARTAAAYYY! lol jk.

A Sims Story

So today my sim(Alli and my "husband" sim Parker) died of old age...and before their 3 children graduated college! only Aria did! I don't know how to resurrect them! it makes me sad! lol..and Hanna was still living at home as a teen and hadn't moved to college yet...now she is an orphan! :/
ahah anyway..I want to write letters but I have no penpal to respond to anymore :(
since its Sunday and the other letters arent here yet.
Today I looked at colleges online..and I got all my music back on my computer!
success!AND to make it even better,....there was a 2 HOUR Lisa Scinta concert!!
:)